In order to assure the highest levels of
quality work & productivity from
employees, it would be our policy to
keep all employees well trained
through our program of SPECIAL HIGH
INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T.
than any one else.

If you feel that you do not receive
your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please
see your manager. You will be
immediately placed at the top of the
S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are
specially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T.
will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS
(D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take
D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go
to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.). Since our managers
took S.H.I.T. before they were
promoted, they don't have to do
S.H.I.T. anymore, & are all full of S.H.I.T.
already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be
interested in a job training others. we
can add your name to our BASIC
UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.
S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.
S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF
INTENSIVE PROGRAMMING (D.I.P.
S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please
direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING,
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)