Eight year old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good, mostly A's and a couple of B's. However, her teacher had written across the bottom:

"Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit."

Sally's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother."

Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?

Student: I don't know.

Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?

Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

A professor at Texas A&M University is
giving a lecture on the
supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people
here believe in ghosts?" About 90
students raise their hands. "Well that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghosts, do any of you
think you've ever seen a ghost?"
About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. I'm really glad you
take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost? 15
students raise their hands.
"That's a great response." "Has
anyone here ever touched a ghost?" 3
students raise their hands."That's
fantastic." "But let me ask you one question further...
Have any of you ever made love to a
ghost?"
One student in a flannel shirt and
baseball cap way in the back raises his
hand. The professor is astonished. He takes off his glasses, takes a step
back, and says, "Son, all the years
I've been giving this lecture, no one
has ever claimed to have slept with
a ghost. You've got to come up here
and tell us about your experience." The redneck student complies with a
nod and a grin, and begins to make
his
way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like
to have sex with a ghost." The student replies, "Ghost?!? Sheeyit.
From baaack there it sounded like
you said 'goats'"