Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?

Student: I don't know.

Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?

Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

A hiker gets lost in the woods and spends the next three days wandering around with no food.

Finally, he spots a bald eagle on a ledge, hits it with a big rock, and begins eating it raw. A park ranger stumbles on the scene and arrests the hiker for killing an endangered species. In court the hiker explains that he was on the edge of starvation and had no choice.

"Considering the circumstances, I find you not guilty," says the judge. "But I have to ask—what did the eagle taste like?"

"Well, your honor," the hiker says, "if I had to describe it, I'd say it tasted something like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl."

A Husband comes home with a half gallon of Ice Cream. He asked his wife if she wants some.

"How hard is it?" she asked.

"About as hard as my dick," he replies.

To which the woman replied, "OK, then pour me some!"