GHOST POOPIE: The kind where you
feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.

CLEAN POOPIE: The kind where you
poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but
there is nothing on the toilet paper.

WET POOPIE: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin them with stains.

SECOND WAVE POOPIE: This happens
when you're done poopie-ing and
you've pulled your pants up to your
knees, and you realize that you have to poopie some more.

POP-A VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD
POOPIE: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

LINCOLN LOG POOPIE: The kind of
poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

GASSY POOPIE: It's so noisy, that
everyone within earshot is giggling.

DRINKER'S POOPIE: The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

CORN POOPIE: Self explanatory.

GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-POOPIE POOPIE:
The kind where you want to poopie
but all you do is sit on the toilet and
fart a few times.

SPINAL TAP POOPIE: That's where it
hurts so badly coming out, you'd
swear it was leaving you sideways.

WET CHEEKS POOPIE (The Power
Dump): The kind that comes out so
fast, your butt cheeks get splashed
with water.

THE DANGLING POOPIE: This poopie
refuses to drop in the toilet even
though you are done poopie-ing it.
You just hope that a shake or two will cut it loose.

THE SURPRISE POOPIE: You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you are about to fart, but *oops* --- a poopie!