Three men were standing in line to
get into heaven...

It had been a pretty busy day,
though, so St Peter had to tell the
first one: "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been
asked to admit only people who
have had particularly horrible
deaths. So what's your story?"

The first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has
been cheating on me, so today I
came home early to try to catch her
red-handed. As I came into my 25th
floor apartment, I could tell
something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal
where this other guy could have
been hiding. Finally, I went out to
the balcony and, sure enough, there
was this man hanging off the
railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started
punching and kicking him, but
wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't
fall off. So finally I went back into
my apartment and got a hammer
and starting hammering his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for
long, so he let go and fell - but even
after 25 stories, he fell into the
bushes, stunned but okay! I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge, and threw it over the edge where it
landed on him, killing him instantly.
But all the stress and anger got to
me, and I had a heart attack and
died there on the balcony."

"That sounds like a pretty bad day
to me," said Peter, and let the man in.

The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven
being full, and again asks for his
story. "It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every
morning I do my exercises out on
my balcony. Well, this morning I
must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I
got lucky and caught the railing of
the balcony on the floor below me. I
knew I couldn't hang on for very
long, when suddenly this man burst
out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started
punching and kicking me. I held on
the best I could until he ran into the
apartment and grabbed a hammer
and started pounding on my hands.
Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes
below, stunned but all right. Just
when I was thinking I was going to
be okay, this refrigerator comes
falling out of the sky and crushes
me instantly, and now I'm here."

Once again, Peter had to concede
that that sounded like a pretty
horrible death. The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story. "Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."